When I was a teenager I wanted more than anything to somehow get to the United States of America.
There they successfully wore their flag on their tee shirts.
I mean, please, what the fuck could we wear on our tee shirts?
Rolf Harris in a khaki safari suit?
Skippy the bushkangafuckingroo?
I wanted Starsky and Hutch.
The Brady Bunch.
A mother like the one from Eight is Enough.
A caring mum that I’d call MOM!
That’s why I was going to America.
To get me some of that!
Now, of course, I…uhm…know better.